Thumb screw up

I went to the studio today after a long absence. I had a bit of a clear up. Later, Lynette came in and as we hadn't been in the studio together for ages we went to the Black Cat cafe for a celebratory cup of coffee. When we came back I tried to slice the end of my thumb off with a scalpel.

I bled and tried to keep the wound closed while Lynette went to buy steri-strips that we could not get to stick - because of the blood. A design fault there, I think.

So it was off to Addenbrookes A&E in a cab. Lynette kept me company and sat with me whilst we waited for my turn. There is something about sitting in accident and emergency that makes you think of all the accidents and emergencies one has seen over the years. In recent years all my many trips to A&E have been with my son.

Except for the time a couple of years back when I was showing him this nifty trick that Cristiano Ronaldo did and then stood on the ball and fell over with a horrible cracking noise. Me, that is, not Ronaldo.

He just tends to fall over.

Don't get me started on the floor

I had intended to go into the studio today, but for various reasons, decided to stay at home. Having sent the novel off, I thought it might be time to sort my office out a little. While I am writing, things tend to simply pile up and up on my desk.

My desk is a lot clearer - though as I type this it still has a box of slides, some memory cards, a memory stick, three pencils, a pen, an empty mug, a copy of Uncle Montague's Tales of Terrors, a copy of the Black Ship, several letters, a book on Baroque painting, a book on Durer, my camera, a book called Signs and Symbols in Christian Art, a calculator, a pile of magazine pages with photos I like for various reasons, a Taschen book of True Crime Detective Magazine covers, an Ordinance Survey map of Thetford, Breckland and the surrounding area, a can of screen wipes, a can of compressed air cleaner, a portable hard drive, a USB adapter for my son's iPod, an adapter for mine and a plug with a timer control.

Yes, that is after I have cleared up.

And don't get me started on the floor.

That's just a noise!

I wondered if I hadn't been a bit hard on pop puppet Duffy the other day. But then I saw the Coke advert. Oh. My. God. What the hell is she wearing? What the hell is she doing? I'm a big fan of singers making an interesting noise. I 'm not interested in people who just carry a tune. Most of what passes for pop music in the country seems to be karaoke. But that's not an interesting noise. That's just a noise. Stop it. Has the world gone mad?

And when I was praising American TV the other day, I forgot to mention Damages. It is silly, of course, and Glenn Close and Rose Byrne often look like they are acting in a silent movie and can only emote using their eyebrows, but the opening credits alone are better than most British TV programmes.

What would Jesus do?

I cycled into town with my son today and bumped into my friend and studio-mate Lynette. I haven't seen her for ages because, having been frozen out during the recent cold spell, I have been at home working on the revisions to the novel. I promised her I would be in next week and we'd grab a coffee and catch up.

There was an extraordinary piece in the Guardian magazine this weekend in which American Christians explained how they squared their belief in a man who said 'Turn the other cheek' and 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone' with their desire to summarily execute anyone who crossed them.

Why is it that so many Christians seem to be obsessed with an Old Testament desire to smite their enemies? Lighten up. Why follow a philosophy of peace and then look for loopholes? There was someone interviewed who was far more interested in the fact that Simon Peter cut off the ear of the high priest's servant when Jesus was arrested, than he was in the more important fact that Jesus did not resist at all. Who are they following: Peter or Jesus? Who exemplifies the Christian ethos in that story? Peter or Jesus? It's like saying you are a vegetarian - and eating meat anyway because you like the taste and anyway, who the hell's gonna stop you.

There was that craze for stickers saying 'What would Jesus do?' a while back. Well I think we can safely assume he wouldn't be driving a 4X4 with a Colt .45 in the glove compartment. In fact we know what Jesus did do in the Garden of Gesthemene - if we can use the word 'know' at all - he told Peter to put his sword away. He was a man of peace.

To cap it all, these people are often described as 'fundamentalists'. Wouldn't a 'fundamentalist' Christian - someone who followed the fundamentals of Christ's teachings - be someone who owned very little, did no one any harm, wished no one ill and tried as best they could to help their fellow man, regardless of sex, colour, creed or political belief?

Or am I missing something?

One last tinker

I finally got the revisions to the ms of my new novel for Bloomsbury finished and sent off. There is always a feeling of relief tied to a desire to just have one more look and one last tinker. . .

But I promised I would have it back by the end of the month and I am always pleased to hit a deadline.

So what is it about, this novel? Well, as I have already said, it is set in the Victorian period and is about a boy called Michael Vyner who is orphaned and becomes the ward of a rich man - Sir Stephen Clarendon - whose life his father saved (at the expense of his own). The book follows Michael's visit at Christmas to his guardian's moated manor house in the fens - a grim and mysterious house called Hawton Mere.

Now I have a few moments to relax and then I have to get on and check the proofs of Tales from the Tunnel's Mouth. I saw the cover David has done when I saw Sarah Odedina the other day and it looks great - his best Tales of Terror cover yet, I think.

And I got an email from Ian Lamb telling about another award shortlisting for Uncle Montague's Tales of Terror. But more about that next week. . .

Paint it black

I went out for a drink with John last night. While we were waiting for our friend Malcolm Harding to arrive we managed to have a twenty minute conversation about the use of black in paintings. I hate to think what we sounded like to anyone else but I love talking about art. In fact there are few things I'd rather talk about.

A couple of posts back I was saying how art college squashed my admiration for the Pre-Raphaelites, but it wasn't a one way process. I think I made it sound quite negative, and that isn't how I think of it at all. In fact I think I am from a generation who came out of art college still believing in art; still trusting it.

It also opened my eyes and mind to lots of things I had previously not encountered or ignored. That process also opened my mind to other things - literature, politics, music. A valve was opened that has never been shut off and for that I am extraordinarily grateful. Thank you Manchester Polytechnic School of Art and Design (even if you have changed your name to the ridiculous Manchester Metropolitan University)

I have art college to thank for everything good in my life.

A pain in the neck

I sat down at my desk yesterday and my neck seized up and it became increasingly painful to do any of the looking up blankly into space that I normally do. I have been getting a lot of pains recently - in my left shoulder and in my elbow. It is either to do with the a) unsuitable seat I sit in, b) the fact that I am horribly old and worn out, c) that I am unusually stressed at the moment. Or all of the above.

But the show must go on. Being a professional writer/illustrator/cartoonist or whatever is obviously defined by getting paid for the work - but another big part of it is that you do it whether you feel like it or not. There is no mileage in throwing a sickie when you are self-employed.

My neck works a little better today after some exercise and ibuprofen. My friend Tom Pitchford - librarian from Hitchin Boys School - sent me a link I'm going to share with you. It is for a designer called M S Corley who has redesigned the Harry Potter covers in the style of old Penguins.

Take a look - they are very nicely done. The Lemony Snickets are good too.